The car drivers around my local university sometimes drive like idiots. I almost got hit by a car a few months ago, and it caused me to face-plant on the sidewalk pretty hard. To try and stem the tide of car drivers at universities, I’ve decided to do the world a favor and share my reasons why all college students should buy motorcycles.

• Save on gas. Motorcycles use a lot less gas than cars do. If you’re working as a TA or early morning custodian on campus, you’re not making that much money. Why not save it?
• Guys will get more dates. For that matter, girls will get more dates. Who on a college campus does not want to get more dates? OK, maybe the nerds, but by the time nerds get to college, even they are starting to want a social life of some sort.
• It’s practically impossible to both use a phone and drive a motorcycle. This actually prevents a lot of accidents, as texting has been shown to cause a lot of crashes. Visit http://www.stoptextsstopwrecks.org/#facts for more info. All college students should buy motorcycles, just to enable them to live past graduation.
• You can park closer to your classes. At the university by where I live, the motorcycle spots are actually the closest to the buildings on campus. The motorcycle parking area for students is even closer than the car parking for faculty and staff. Having trouble getting to class before your professor? Why not buy a motorcycle?
• You can drive faster than you can walk. There are those of us who walked to class most, if not all the way through college. I can testify that getting a bike senior year opened up a whole new world for me. Having trouble getting to your classes on time? Why not buy a motorcycle?

There. I‘ve said my two cents (using a lot of tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, of course). Comment below to let us know what other reasons you can think of.